One 4 All and All 4 One

In this day and age I often wonder if the concept of family values still exist. I wonder what kind of world I have brought my children into. We have wars and unspeakable crimes happening all over the world on a daily basis but what we don't hear much about is the occasions when people pull together when is a time of crisis the kindness of others shines like a beacon in the darkness, yet again I am amazed by my family (immediate and extended) and I'd like to think that we are not that different from other people and their families.

Quick explanation my dad has taken ill, and we pull together. within 24 hours of knowing my beautiful best friend took my children added them to her own (who are also my nephew and niece) and sent me and my brother off to London. My little brother brought my Nan up and together we were there when he came out of surgery. But not only is this act of family solidarity amazing but my Mum's family from South Africa and New Zealand have called numerous times on my Mums mobile which is not only thoughtful but expensive.

Other than this I have an extended (adopted) family of siblings. People that see my parents pretty much as close to their own as they can... and in times that me and my brothers cant be here they are. So Matius + Soli and Frida + Bryan remember you will always be my family. My family are like licorice all sorts anyway, so what difference does a few more oddities make.  :o)

so in the belief that my family is not that unique, humanity that is inherently good and kind must be more prevalent than what we see on the news. There must be more good in the world than what is portrayed in the papers and for that I am thankful, and through this I pray that we are paving a better future for generations to come.

Just before all this happened I read a very little write up...

Basically it was about a professor filled a Jar with golf balls till no more fitted, he asked his class if it was full. they agreed. He then added marbles to the jar, this filled in some gaps, again he asked the class if it was full and again they agreed. Then he filled the jar with sand filling in the spaces between the golf balls and marbles and again he asked the class if it was full and this time they said it definitely was. Lastly he poured the contents of two bottles of beer into the jar and finally it really was full.

His explanation was, the jar is your life. The golf balls are the people in your life your friends and your family as well as the things that make you really happy. The marbles are the other bits your job, your hobbies your house your car etc. The sand was everything else. the stuff that just fills up our spare time. A student asked what the beers were, he answered that no matter what you can always make time to have a beer with a friend. Basically the point was if you filled the jar with sand first nothing else would fit in... THINK ABOUT IT.

With all this in mind I have come to the decision, that no matter what family and friends come first, be there for others, stop and think about what you can do to make life easier for somebody else, even if it is just a text to say hello, you never know when that is exactly what they need. Give hugs when you want to and tell those close to you, that you love them. say the things that need to be said. Make sure you live your life in happiness not just your own but for the happiness of others too, and lets continue to teach our future generations compassion and empathy who knows we may get a step closer to living in peace.

Me and My Inner Geek

I am finding as of late that I am spending quite a lot of time with my Inner Geek, back in the day BC (before children) I used to be well acquainted with said Inner Geek. However over the years (7 of them) I have learned that people would rather discuss the sleeping and feeding habits of tiny people, so I stepped away from episodes of Star Trek and watched the likes of Peppa Pig instead, I quelled my need to talk technical to all my friends because they all quickly glazed over, and apparently resistance was not futile...

I knew my Geek was still in there somewhere as I make a GREAT cyber stalker (Angie & Jo you know what I'm talking about) and  I enjoy it a little to much -yes I am sat here stroking my virtual white cat in my super cool virtual villain chair "Mwahh hahaha"- I also make a MEAN interactive spread sheet.... OK maybe these are not redeeming qualities but I was having withdrawal.

Now however my (not so) Inner Geek is in HEAVEN... "I'm in heaven.... and my heart beat...." Frank was great wasn't he? anyway I am loving getting stuck into a JAVA problems, coming up with ways to make my programs do what I want them to do and I get satisfaction from converting decimals to  floating point binary. We have been given some of first assignments to do (I am so excited)... at this stage I would like my 'non technical readers who are currently phoning the nearest loony bin to come get me' to remember that I have been writing essays for psychology for the last 3 years that were based completely on the opinion of puffed up theorists.

Back to my assignments, I get to do a report on virtual reality AWESOME (this needs to be said with the same tone Rhino uses in Disneys BOLT - you tube it!) I am over awed and often disturbed at what can be achieved through VR and have imagined a world where we will be able to step into a pod, interact with virtual people in other pods regardless of where they actually are... takes face time to a whole new level doesn't it. Plus from a parenting point of view virtual dating could hugely decrease teenage pregnancy rates ;o).

My next assignment involves the building of a game where a robot picks up and deposits a bomb in a brick building, then testing the programme to see if I can break it... HOW COOL. seriously beats writing a stuffy essay any day.

AND...

I am going to the gadget show in LONDON baby.... all in the name of research obviously. WHOOP WHOOP.

BTW if you were concerned about the assimilation prospects... it would seem ABI is turning into a GEEK just like her Mummy... I am so proud!!!!

On a final and very IMPORTANT note I forgot to mention I am going to see TWILIGHT tomorrow night :o) SUPURB... GO team Jakeward (YES I can't actually choose)....

Partying in a digital age, whilst raising children with Victorian values.

My Blog this week is slightly off subject, I have over the last two weekends enjoyed the social asspects of University life, being slightly more 'mature' in age than most of my colleagues I have a very different take on going out. 

Firstly when I went out in the 90’s (yes I know that was plenty years ago) we partied like crazy... stayed out till the sun came up and then ended up at a psychedelic house party with a bunch of hippy stoned students most of which nobody recognised.

More importantly in my day, what happened on a night out stayed on a night out... if somebody credulously  brought out a disposable camera (and there was always one) it either it got lost, didn't work very well or never got developed. However, now days the night out gets posted on a social networking site before you even get home. So it really is not a good idea to drink that much you don’t know what you are doing because there is guaranteed to  be a camera pointing at you at the most inopportune moment.

Although one positive point of growing up in an era before digital/instant cameras was that the price of developing photo’s ensured that you learned how to act when a camera was pointed at you. Basically in my case as my mum loved her photos and it became natural reaction... see camera....  pull tummy in, eyes big and smile and as you get older chin up to hide the wrinkles,  this advise will save you from most of the really awful pictures your friends will upload. Also DON'T pout... it is not attractive and you NEVER look like one of those seductive models on the top-shelf magazines.

However learning to pose when a camera is pointed at you does make you come across as a total poser who is completely in-love with themselves... I am going to have to learn that candid photos are good and maybe it is a matter of tummy in and chin out at all times... or even easier learn to avoid the damn camera... NAH!!!!!

Now onto my next subject my children... 

This week it has become apparent that I may have failed as a single parent to instil the values I hold dear in my beautiful daughters.

My values:

• A woman does not require a man to keep her, complete her or define her. A partnership is one of equal values and has its benefits. However not being in a relationship does not diminish the strength of either person.
• You can achieve whatever you want to achieve regardless of your situation, I will create a better life for myself and for my daughters despite being on my own and having responsibilities.

Bearing these in mind you can imagine how I felt when my daughters came out with these coments this week...

Alexia Age 4

Alexia: Mummy can I find you a boyfriend? 

Me: Why do I need a boyfriend?
Alexia: All girls need a boyfriend.

Abigail Age 7

Abigail: Mummy I preferred it before you went to University
Me: Why is that?
Abigail: Because you were always home and actually remembered you had children

So firstly my 4 year old wants me shacked up and my 7 year old want me at home... Where did I go so wrong!

What do I make of these... well I explained to my baby that I am not fussed about a boyfriend and reminded my 7 year old that she has expensive taste and as a result I need to study and get a good job... However gob smacked was not the word for how I felt.